Solitude- Soul Food

Reflection is like watching a flower bloom. It always happens when your not looking. You just wake up one morning and see the flower in full bloom. Your one with the process. You water and feed yourself the right things and one day you wake up in full bloom. Life is just a process of new and old habits growing and dying. Or if it was that way, we couldn't possibly get bored or stagnant. We would always have something to look forward to. There are seasons to life. Seasons to be fruitful, seasons to relax. These seasons happen threw the year, month, week, sometimes day. seasons to moods, attitudes, fads, fashion. Everything must have a beginning and an end.

I like to write alone.
In peace, and solitude.
Recently I've been reflecting in a new fleshy mirror that has me face to face.
My ideas come in triangles. They get tangled up in one another instead of flowing and folding together, securing my center with every knead. I am confused but aware of my confusion. Now only left to find myself at a decision or discovery of my needs. Gentle loving folds of characteristics, traits, ideals, people, love.
Finally secure enough to be uncensored; as open an wound is uncovered, still sore and tender. Will it always be. What will come of me.

Inspired to express and fueled to stack up the energy to make dreams come true.
With my eyes wide open I can turn to what's right and turn from temptation.
Temptation keeps telling me NO and my tension resembles that of a taught rubber band waiting to fly across the room and burst threw the wall.
That is my force of will. Where there is will; there is wall. Where there is willingness there is a way.
I miss yoga..

There is this soulful obligation to use my huge heart to heal others instead of self. I heal self when around others but sometimes still fall for the influence. Strength is what I need. Strength to lead, to be the influence. I've seen my influence, negatively and positively. Discovering the wiring in my pretty little head. The way people think is funny. The way I think about how we think is bold. To bold for words but as simple as bending over backwards to please.

We mold and fold and still don't manage to get what we want. I guess its time to stand up straight and wait patiently to share our words, our passion, our hearts desire. If our words are not heard walk to another peak of this giant mountain of a world and see if our words echo in another ear. Until that day that we find ourselves and we are their to answer and take care of our own needs will we be blessed with the presence of others that can stand on two feet and not just lie down and take a trampling.

Falling is fine if you get back up, its lying down I can't stand.
Its dragging the lifeless that frustrates me. It drains and drags. Hangs and lingers. Slow moving, time wasting.  Follow, lead, or get out of the way. The day is young. The nights are long and I am well balanced on two feet and ready to explore my possibilities. Spread the word.

I have one leg out of the gooey muck that are my hindering habits and the other stuck in the wanderlust of instant gratification. As I drag my leg with me I still manage to look and even move forward. Perhaps its time to stop and clean my leg off before I go any further. Take a good look at what it is that I want and what it is that's holding me back preventing me from cleaning myself up and moving forward fully without restraint.